Sunbug, I was so deeply touched by your sharing of what I said that may have been helpful or in some way offered support. The creative life is tough, I don’t care what anybody says only the individual who seeks that call understands how difficult and somehow lonely at times it can be because you are in a way mid-wifeing your muse, in other words, trying to birth or bring forth something within you that not only has never been before, but at times you may not even know what it is that’s struggling to come out of you; and it can be at times an emotional ordeal. But that’s the job as they say, and if we are true to it we have to answer “that thing” that’s struggling to come out and be heard. I’m not telling you something you don’t already know, but yes, it’s an often solitary adventure/process but it also has it’s rewards because that thing is a part of you and that’s it’s beauty isn’t it?
And then there are all the naysayers: Both “inside” as well as outside, those voices whether internal or external daring you to bring it forth and criticizing you when you do. Oh, it’s a process alright, learning from sources to draw inspiration from and then you try to “build the house” as they say; you start the inner construction of trying to coax the muse to express itself to give it form to where you can see it’s happening. But your child is something special that never was before and that’s the reward isn’t it? It’s something that tells you from inside that all that inner stuff you endured and went through was worth it because it’s a reflection of you that was trying to come out. And: job “well done” when it does.
Sometimes these things are like our inner Dragon locking us down and like a mirror reflection tells us: “no, you can’t, you don’t know what you are doing”; but inside you know that’s “not so” but you still have to find a way to figure your way out of overcoming your challenge or hurdle or whatever it is that’s preventing you from entering: “The Garden”. Creatives understand this struggle because it’s not only universal but individually unique to each one of us.
I often wondered when will this constant emergence of new problems ever end? But it doesn’t, or at least in the way we would like it to. But our inner child/dragon keeps pushing us on, and within the conflicts often times lie the answers, (well, sounds correct doesn’t it?). But all I can say is that when I got to point where I felt “the thing” had expressed itself; then I could move on. Each art form and each situation has it’s own challenges and I hope I’m not sounding like I understand what you as a creative are going through; but I’m just saying that for me there were times in the forest where I had absolutely no idea where I was or what I needed to do next.
I’ll stop here; but I was so moved by your thoughtful response I just wanted to say thank you and the best of luck with your project. Namaste