A good question to often ask ourselves is, ‘How is my relationship with the unknown developing?’ Bearing in mind that the unknown doesn’t always mean dangerous.
Our wounded ego often manipulates our energy so that there’s no room for the unknown. And we can’t manage chaos through the strategies of our old self. We can’t grow by staying where we are. But there’s a part of us that struggles to trust that this cycle has its own intelligence and timing.
To meet chaos we require spaciousness within ourselves first. If there’s no space inside, we can’t do anything with the insights, which chaos brings. It’s like a blocked funnel that gets stuck. It’s why meeting chaos takes alignment, not time. We’re yielding to the spirit, allowing the sheer force of divine creativity – an ephemeral vitality – to flow through us.
And it’s not that there’s anything ‘wrong’ when depression or chaos visits us, it’s just that there’s something else that life is trying to show us. We’re given a chance to recalibrate our truth. Rather than binary thinking of right or wrong, it’s about the revelation . . . or its possibility. We withdraw to hear something brand new that wants to live inside us. And we find ourselves in the apparent emptiness, not in the reflex actions. This is why we need our temenos, to place all that which we have previously censored and not given voice to, so it can be held, witnessed and integrated.
And this is what I referred to in the essay regarding self-sabotage. ‘Am I incubating a new self? Or am I stuck in the slow lane with imaginary blockades of my own making?’ When we make chaos or depression an ally and hold it close like a dear, beloved companion, the less power it has over us. It only wants to be seen. To be recognised and acknowledged.
And thank you for posting the descriptions too. Most helpful – Kristina.