Reply To: Some humor to lighten up the place a little
COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF WORLD RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES (scatalogically defined):
AGNOSTICISM: We don’t know shit.
ALTRUISM: Want some shit?
AMISH: Shit dost occur.
APATHY: I don’t give a shit.
ATHEISM: I don’t believe this shit.
BA’HAI: All shit is truly shit.
BUDDHISM: Shit happens.
BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM: Shit happens because the Bible says so.
CAPITALISM: How much will this shit cost?
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserved it.
CLASSICAL MARXISM: The workers take all the shit, but they’re gonna dish it back out again.
COMMUNISM: It’s everybody’s shit.
CONTRACT THEORY: If we don’t agree to form society, everything will go to shit.
DARWINISM: We came up from shit.
DESCARTES: I shit therefore I am.
DIANETICS: Shit your way to a better life.
DYSLEXIANISM: Hits shapnep.
EPISCOPALIANISM: When shit happens, make it tasteful.
GNOSTICISM: Know shit.
HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?
MARINES: It’s not just shit, it’s an adventure.
MCCARTHYISM: Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?
MENNONITE: None of this modern shit now.
MOMISM: You’ll eat this shit and like it!
MORMONISM: Shit’s going to happen. Stockpile.
NARCISSISM My shit don’t stink.
NIHILISM Everything is shit.
OBJECTIVISM (Ayn Rand): Shit is Shit.
PAGANISM: Shit happens – and is a part of nature.
POLYANNA-ISM: This is the best of all possible shits.
PLATONISM There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.
ROUSSEAU: Only natural shit is worth shit.
SOLIPSISM: The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens.
STALINISM: The state treats you like shit.
SUBGENIUS: Bob happens –– SO GIVE ME SOME SLACK!
SURREALISM: Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.
SCIENTIFIC CREATIONISM: Shit happens all at once
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit happens, but there’s a rational explanation.
TAOISM: The shit that happens is not the true shit.
TWELVE STEP PROGRAMS: We’re powerless over shit.
UNITARIANISM: There’s only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want.
UTILITARIANISM: Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number.
VANDALISM: I’m gonna wreck this shit!
YUPPIEISM: It’s my shit! All mine!
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
ASTROLOGY: Uranus transits.