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Reply To: Some humor to lighten up the place a little



AGNOSTICISM: We don’t know shit.

ALTRUISM: Want some shit?

AMISH: Shit dost occur.

APATHY: I don’t give a shit.

ATHEISM: I don’t believe this shit.

BA’HAI: All shit is truly shit.

BUDDHISM: Shit happens.

BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM: Shit happens because the Bible says so.

CAPITALISM: How much will this shit cost?

CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserved it.

CLASSICAL MARXISM: The workers take all the shit, but they’re gonna dish it back out again.

COMMUNISM: It’s everybody’s shit.

CONTRACT THEORY: If we don’t agree to form society, everything will go to shit.

DARWINISM: We came up from shit.

DESCARTES: I shit therefore I am.

DIANETICS: Shit your way to a better life.

DYSLEXIANISM: Hits shapnep.

EPISCOPALIANISM: When shit happens, make it tasteful.

GNOSTICISM: Know shit.

HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

MARINES: It’s not just shit, it’s an adventure.

MCCARTHYISM: Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?

MENNONITE: None of this modern shit now.

MOMISM: You’ll eat this shit and like it!

MORMONISM: Shit’s going to happen. Stockpile.

NARCISSISM My shit don’t stink.

NIHILISM Everything is shit.

OBJECTIVISM (Ayn Rand): Shit is Shit.

PAGANISM: Shit happens – and is a part of nature.

POLYANNA-ISM: This is the best of all possible shits.

PLATONISM There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.

ROUSSEAU: Only natural shit is worth shit.

SOLIPSISM: The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens.

STALINISM: The state treats you like shit.


SURREALISM: Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.

SCIENTIFIC CREATIONISM: Shit happens all at once

SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit happens, but there’s a rational explanation.

TAOISM: The shit that happens is not the true shit.

TWELVE STEP PROGRAMS: We’re powerless over shit.

UNITARIANISM: There’s only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want.

UTILITARIANISM: Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number.

VANDALISM: I’m gonna wreck this shit!

YUPPIEISM: It’s my shit! All mine!

ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?

ASTROLOGY: Uranus transits.