Could one suppose when Parzeval was worried about ‘What others will think of me?’ That was coming from ‘ego’?
And when he ‘let that be,’ he could hear the Inner Call to something greater: the NEED for the Question which healed the land?”
I believe you have articulated the heart of the matter, Sunbug (not that Wolfram von Eschenbach or the other Grail authors knew what the ego is in terms of the vocabulary of depth psychology, but that indeed seems the dynamic at work here).
Ego, essentially, is “I,” “me,” my perception of myself. What I believe others may think of me is definitely an ego concern. But compassion (Latin com – “with,” plus passion – “suffering”: “suffering with”), exemplified in the question “What ails thee?”, steps outside ego concerns.