Hi Mary, thanks for the reply but unfortunately I’m not a bird person, nor do I ever wanted one, and I wish I’d knew what kind of bird it was, because I never paid attention to what species it was or what kind of bird it was…all I knew was that its not doing well and dying here in front of my girlfriend and I. Now that you mentioned it, it was strange because I knew it was a bird, but I didn’t categorize with a logical mind, or look at it with ‘scientific view?’ but if it was a pigeon or perhaps other animals, that point of encountering a life that’s dying on your door step, I guess I would like to ask all of us (as people), what would you do? If its an insect, well I’ll be honest, its also a life, but I don’t think I would feel the same compare to a bird. Strange…its biased. But for the bird, it’s more apparent to ‘feel’ because I was able to see it’s head movements, and the little expressions? and was able to look at its eyes. Honestly, insects are another form of life that has a spirit too….but I’m no Holy man.
When I saw the bird slowly dying away, honestly…I was also recalling the same moment when I was with my grandpa alone in the hospital during his last breath. When I was with my grandpa, I recalled the dying bird on the door step. That quiet, and solemn glow in the eyes, I’d like to think that perhaps its the sparkling spirit that still dances in that material body. Is this why that bird came to my girlfriend’s door step? was it a sign? Or somehow was it because it knew that it was a peaceful place to release it’s spirit? And why am I the one end up seeing this? (why Me? the bird could be anywhere to die?) And why am I the only person who’s there with my grandpa for his last breath? (I did call out to him to stay longer so that the whole family would get here since their on their way. He had heard me because his eyes got teary, but something just calmly tells me to let him go.) The bird’s look in the eyes, that stillness before leaving this world…its the same for all life with the spirit in the world. I would say, my grandpa and the bird both passed away peacefully. I’m not a smart business man, or an entrepreneur, or some optimistic business inherit person in my family..but I always find fascination with Native American spirituality, their view point with this world, just their way of life and so on.
I didn’t feel any helplessness or guilt, because it was a different situation. I didn’t understand exactly what was happening with the bird, and we were just doing what we could to save it. I knew there maybe other factors to break down the details of what went wrong, but there’s no point to force anything. Maybe it’s a blessing? to have the chance of looking at a life going away? Maybe the bird is telling me something, just as my grandpa is telling me still to this day, the mysteries of life and our spirit.