The second best are misunderstood, because those are the thoughts that are supposed to refer to that which can’t be thought about.
Think of thoughts as obvious perceptions. One’s very own perception is pressed / framed/ stamped upon what is considered as the ‘proper’ perception and unique and universal at the same time. It is impossible to discuss this, to share or transfer, as the other has the same unique and universal perception too. The ‘images’ however will and can not coincide.
Your perception of the reality is not the reality, it is only your perception – hence it is not the reality.
Sideways are the common images (they transcend) and what we can discuss, like this here.
“a pivotal event…” You could not control it, only lived it. This experience is very common though.